i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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