I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize