OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
