Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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