I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
