My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
