Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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