I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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