You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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