A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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