i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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