ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
