Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
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