I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize