So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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