he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize