Nicole vs. Life
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
