phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
