Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
should my penis look like a turkey
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
