Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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