so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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