They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
