Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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