the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
