Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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