If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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