that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
