Dude my mom stole all your condoms
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
