dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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