when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
