Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
and she was petting her beer can
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
