Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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