Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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