awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize