I wannas sexs uuuuu
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
