i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
