Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
