she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
