i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
