Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
