Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Drunk is a universal language darling
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
