I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
