I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
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