Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I just want nice things and good sex
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
