if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Randomize
