all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
