All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
