Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I could fuck to npr.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
