cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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