yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
