You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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