i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
