Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
