I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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