As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
