I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
