...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
