i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
