Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize