Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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