Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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