Where is the hickey?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
then he tried to convert me to islam
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
