She's JV to your varsity
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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