Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
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