We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
