How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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