Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
