Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
